Alone, By My Side
April 5, 2020
To add to the collection
Not just another year
A year like no other
I try to take a positive view
She would want that
The laundry always clean
And folded now
Rested,
A car, idle, no risking my life
On the highway
My closets
Clean, organized,
Unneeded documents
Shredded
The air less polluted
No commuters
Classical music nourishes
All day long
Late afternoon walks
For sanity sake
I talk to myself
Which is really to her
All day long
Alone by my side
What would she say?
She would shake her head
That mellifluous, vulnerable voice,
“What has transpired?”
She would say
She would be among those
Who need to shop for groceries
Between six and seven am
Compromised immune system
Indignant, she’d be
But she would share her supplies
Of paper products
With us
Single-ply
We would have long conversations
On the phone
As we always did
We would find ways to laugh
Even about this too.
But the other day
A roll of the coveted white
Just fell off the back of the toilet
No provocation
Was it perched in a precarious position?
Or was she talking to me?
Rooting for me?
I prefer to believe the latter
I talked back to her
You are right, I laughed
There will be enough
And I will be good enough
For my students this way
And this too shall pass, she said
As she always did before
With so little noise
So few distractions
No laughing children
No hand blower roaring
From across the hall
No loudspeakers
Calling indoor recess today
No piece of cake delivered
To celebrate a child’s birthday
She speaks to me
Loud and clear
She says,
“You have no idea
How fortunate you are
A job, your health
A beautiful home
Children who stay in touch
With photographs and videos
All day long”
She was always right
And it isn’t as though
I didn’t always know that
I did, I Do
We knew her
We loved her
We KNOW her, in fact
And we LOVE her still
We do know, one more year
How fortunate we are
For
As alone as we are
She is
For another year
By our side.
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