Do Unto Others

Everyone knows this golden rule.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Children come to middle school having been drilled on this all the way through elementary school.  They don't always follow it, though.  And everyone knows that middle school children can be cruel.  They can be cliquey, they can be competitive, they can be insecure, they can be worried about their place in the world.  They are also changing by the day, physically and psychologically, and there is an imbalance in their biology for those years, so we need to be patient and understanding of these many challenges on a day-to-day basis.  This means we need to help them, we need to teach them each day what kindness is, what compassion is, what it might feel like to treat someone kindly as opposed to cruelly.

I recently worked with some teachers on some anti-bullying strategies for kids, and it was a very positive exchange amongst the group, and a very diverse group as well.  There were classroom teachers, the librarian and media specialists, the music teacher (moi) the gym/health teacher and the guidance counselors.  We read an interesting article about how it doesn't help to punish students for their cruel behavior towards others, it works much better to work with them on taking responsibility for their behavior and helping them see how what they do isn't just about them, but it affects others in a negative way- if they turn it around they can see how it helps them to help others, it can help them see the beauty in a positive cycle rather than a negative one.

Here's what I see, though, sometimes, on the teacher level or adult level as well.  Think about how people work in their classrooms and think about themselves and only themselves.  Think about how they have so much pressure on them for their students to succeed, (test scores affecting teacher's evaluations) and how that affects how they interact with colleagues.  I find that there can be some complicated emotions around all this- competitive natures, grave insecurities, worried about their place in the school, and "in-groups" and "out-groups".  What does THAT sound like?  Middle school you say?  I would tend to agree.

So- the next time you complain about how rude or cruel a student is in the school, think about your own behavior as a teacher.  Are you modeling compassion?  Are you modeling patience and kindness?  Are you paying it forward?  I can say it about myself too, am I getting sucked into gossip and pettiness?  Am I not being honest with others around what my needs are and how that affects my teaching?  Am I insecure about MY place in the school as a less important "fun" subject teacher?  HMMM...be the change you want to see in the world, and don't forget to show hope, grace, and love in all that you try to accomplish..otherwise, what is it all for?  And why do we even imagine trudging into the front lines every day?  Because children are our next generation, and they learn so much from how we walk the walk and talk the talk.  I rest my case. Have a great day, and see you next week!!!